Glimmers
- brandy8983
- Apr 16
- 6 min read
Triggers vs. Glimmers
Most of us are familiar with the idea of triggers - those moments and elements of an experience that lead to distress and anxiety. This is a common term in today's world, and many of us have spent time learning what our specific triggers are and how to work with them.
However, so few people have been introduced to the opposite of triggers: glimmers. Those moments and elements of life that register in our system as safety and support.
Polyvagal Theory is an idea that greatly informs my work and it is where the term glimmers comes from. Coined by Deb Dana, the term glimmers refers to those small micro moments that help us to feel safe, calm, and connected. They are "cue[s] in the day, either internal or external, that spark a sense of wellbeing" (Rhythm of Regulation, 2024).
As humans, our brain's are naturally wired to be on the lookout for danger and threat, as this is required to ensure our survival. What can happen, however, is that we focus so much on the triggers and elements of life that cause us distress that we miss the moments that can serve as reminders that we are safe, supported, and loved. It's natural, we all have this built in negativity bias, so we must be intentional in turning our attention and focus to the good.
This is where glimmers come in.
Glimmers don't have to be anything 'grand.' In fact, glimmers are defined as those 'micro moments' that make up the everyday. We do not have to wait until everything is perfect or to have those peak experiences in life (that can so often feel few and far between) before we feel this sense of safety and wellbeing. We just simply have to start turning our attention to the small ways this is present for us in our lives right now. Those small moments that make such a difference when we acknowledge them.
How do you know you have encountered a glimmer? You will notice, no matter how slight, a sense of softening, ease, opening, or connection. This could be an embodied experience (something that brings you that sense of an exhale), a thought, or something that makes you smile, pause, or take notice. It may bring you a sense of warmth within your body or, more generally, a feeling of happiness. Once you start connecting with glimmers in your life you will come to recognize what the tell is for you - we may all experience this slightly different, just as we will all have have different things that serve as glimmers.
So, What Are Some Examples Of Glimmers?
Glimmers are all around us. They are built into the everyday, just waiting for us to notice. While what serves as a glimmer for me may be different than what it is for you (and vice versa), some common examples include:
Stepping out into the sunshine
Seeing flowers in bloom
The smell of cookies or bread, fresh from the oven
Snuggling with a beloved animal
The feel of fresh sheets as you crawl into bed for the night
The sound of rain on the roof
A hug from someone you love
That first sip of coffee in the morning
Seeing the stars at night
A good conversation with a friend
Hearing a song you love
Stepping into a warm bath
A cozy sweater
Opening the first pages of a new book
That first bite of a good meal
These are all small, simple moments of everyday life, but chances are at least some of the items on that list connected you with a felt sense of ease. Perhaps you noticed some small part of you relaxing, softening, or even smiling. The memories and ideas of such experiences giving you a sense of wellbeing, no matter how small. That is what glimmers are all about.
Finding Glimmers In Your Own Life
Now that you have a general sense of what glimmers are, as well as some examples, my hope is that you will already be connecting the dots to what some of your glimmers may be. As previously mentioned, this is unique to all of us. What signals safety to your system is what is important. You may resonate with some of the examples, or you may not. That's okay. Find what works for you.
If you are not sure where to start, I encourage you to set the intention to notice any micro moments that occur throughout your day where you feel that slight softening or sense of connection - no matter how small or fleeting. Make a list of these and start recognizing what your unique cues of safety are. Start noticing them as they appear and also intentionally seeking them out. These moments can seem too small to really make a difference, but they can have a real, cumulative effect on your nervous system! They anchor you into wellbeing by shifting your focus away from fear, danger, or threat. They remind you that no matter what else may be going on, the energy of safety and connection is also available to you.
The Power of Intention and Practice In Working With Glimmers
One of the key elements about working with glimmers that I want to highlight, is the act of intentionally noticing and savoring them. Remember that our brains are hardwired to notice danger and negativity, so that is likely one of the dominant states you find yourself in day to day - that's okay, that's normal. However, it is possible to build new connections so that the good is much more accessible. This is what noticing glimmers, and neuroplasticity in general, is all about. Building new neural connections and new ways of showing up and responding to the world. This is the goal, but the way we get there is through practice.
Every time we notice a glimmer and savor the experience of it we are not only connecting with that sense of softening and wellbeing, but we are rewiring our brain. We are re-orienting to the good in our lives, no matter what else may be occurring around us.
If I could give you any advice it would be this: intentionally notice glimmers when they show up every day AND savor the experience of them.
Notice how it feels in your body. Where do you sense it? How does it show up? Is there one body location you experience it in more than others? Are there thoughts, memories or emotions that go along with it? How do you notice that it opens you up or softens you to your experience? The more that you can embody and savor that felt sense of safety that accompanies the glimmer, the more attention you pay to it, and the more powerful the experience will be. Also, the more you inhabit the experience, the more likely you will be to connect with a similar experience again.
Setting the intention, noticing glimmers when they arrive, and savoring them - that's the key!
I hope this gives you a greater sense of what glimmers are, as well as ways that you may start connecting to them in your own life.
May you notice the good as often as you can, and may it remind you that no matter what else is occurring, the energy of safety and connection is one small, intentional moment away.
If you are looking for support and wanting to find ways to build glimmers and moments of safety into your days, please reach out. I love to incorporate a deeper understanding of the nervous system into my work, allowing you to understand how your unique system responds (both to cues of threat and wellbeing) as you move through the world. It is vital information, and the basis for a strong foundation of self-support.
Dana, D. (2024). Rhythm of Regulation. https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
Dana, D. (2021). Anchored: how to befriend your nervous system using Polyvagal Theory. Sounds True: Boulder, Co.
Dana, D. (2018 ). Polyvagal theory in therapy. Norton and Company Inc: New York, NY.
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