Last week, I shared an excerpt of a poem on my Instagram page, and I wanted to share the full poem here. It speaks to the struggle of depression and mental health challenges, the subsequent darkness that we can find ourselves in, and the incredible power and beauty of moving through that and finding ourselves here - today, in this moment.
It is easy when we are hurting and feel lost in darkness to doubt that it will end, that there is any way out, or that we matter. But those thoughts are lies. Yes, it can feel overwhelming and deeply, painfully, lonely. Yes, we can struggle for a long time and not really know where to turn. Yes, we can feel hopeless. But the truth amidst all of that is that there is always hope (as trite or as impossible as that may sound).
I hope this poem can be a reminder of that hope, and the incredible strength and courage that it takes to keep fighting, day after day. I hope it also helps you remember that you are not alone. Many others are fighting the same darkness and pain, and there are people who can walk alongside you as you find your way through.
I hope you know as you read this that you will make your way through. That one day, you, too, will be able to say (with deep gratitude), ‘I made it. Here.’
Today Means Amen by Sierra DeMulder (Watch Sierra perform this poem here )
Dear you, Whoever you are, However you got here, This is exactly where you are supposed to be.
This moment has waited its whole life for you, This moment is your lover, And you are a solider, Come home baby, it’s over, You don’t need to suffer anymore.
Dear you, This moment is a surprise party, You are both hiding in the dark, And walking through the door, This moment is a Hallelujah, This moment is your permission slip, To finally open that love letter, You’ve been hiding from yourself, The one you wrote when you were little, When you still danced like a sparkler at dusk, Do you remember the moment you realised they were watching? When you became ashamed of how much light you were holding? When you first learned how to un-love yourself?
Dear you, The word today, means amen in every language. Today, we made it, Today, I’m gonna love you, Today, the box cutter will rust in the garbage, Today, the noose will forget how to hold you, Today, Today.
Dear you, And I have always meant, you. Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.
You, who were once as small as bouquet, Who could sleep in the laughs of strangers, Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.
You, who’s voice is someone’s favourite voice, Someone’s favourite face to wake up to, Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.
You, the teacher, The starters gun, The lantern in the night who offers not a way home, But the courage to travel farther into the dark.
You, the lover, Who worships the taste of her body, Who is the largest tree ring in his heart, Who does not let fear ration your love.
You, the friend, The sacred chorus of ‘How can I help you?’ Who have felt more numb than holy, More cracked than mosaic, Who has known the tiles of a bathroom by heart, Who has forgotten what makes you worth it.
You, the forgiven, The forgiver, Who belongs right here, in this moment.
You, this clump of cells, This happy explosion that happened to start breathing, And by the grace of whatever is up there, You got here, You made it, this whole way, Through the nights that swallowed you whole, The mornings that arrived in pieces, The scabs, the gravel, The doubt, the hurt,
The hurt, the hurt, is over.
Today, You made it, You made it, You made it, Here.